A healthy interpersonal relationship, specially one on a friendship or intimate level, is marked by a balance of self disclosure (sharing by biographical data, personal ideas, and feelings that are unknown to another person) and feedback ( The verbal and physical respnses to people and their messages) within the relationship.
How can you tell wheather you and another are sharing enough to keep the relationship going ? the best method is to discuss it. As the basis for the worth while discussion, we suggest the use of Johari Window, named after its two originators, Joe Luft (1970) and Harry Ingham
Johari window is divided into four section or panes
The first quardrant is called the "open" pane of the window because it represents the information about you that both you and your partner knows. It includes information that you have disclosed and the observations about you that your partner has shared with you. If you were preparing a Johari windows that represented your side of your relationship with another person, you would include in the open pane all the item of information about yourself that you would fell free to share with that other person.
The second quadrant is called the "secret" pane. It contain all those things that you know about yourself but that your partner does not know about you. This information may run the gamut from where you keep your pencil, or why you don't eat meat, to those secrets whose revelation threatens you. If you were preparing a Johari window that represent your side of a relationship with another person, you would include in the secretpane all the items of information that you have not shared with that other person.
When you choose to disclose the information with your partner, the information moves into the open pane of the window. If, for example, you had been engaged to be married but on the day of the wedding your fiancee had backed out, this information might be in the secret pane of your window.
But when you disclose this to your friend, it would move into the open part of your johari window with this person. through dissclosure, the secret pane of a window becomes smaller and the open pane is enlarged.
The third quadrant is called the blind pane. this is the place for information that the other person knows about you but about which you are unaware. Most people have blind spots - aspects of their behavior about which they are unaware. For example, Charley may not know that he snores when he sleeps or that he frowns when he is concentrating . Both of these behaviors would be known by someone who has slept in the same room with him or being with him when he attends class lecture. Information moves from the blind are of the window to the open area through feed back from other.
If no one has ever told Charley about these behaviors, or if he has refused to believe it when he has been told about them, this information will be in the blind part of his johari window.
when someone tells Charley about them and he accept the feedback, than the information will move into the open pane of Charley's Johari window with this person. Thus, like disclosure, feedback enlarges the open pane of the Johari Window, but in this case it is the blind pane that becomes smaller.
The fourth quadrant is called the "unknown" pane. It contain information about you that you do not know and neither does your partner. Obviously, you cannot develop a list of this information. So how do we know that it exists ? Well, periodically we "discover" it. If, for instance, you have never tried hang gliding, then neither you nor anyone else can really know weather you would chicken out or follow through, do it well or crash, love every minute of it or be paralyzed by fear.
How can you tell wheather you and another are sharing enough to keep the relationship going ? the best method is to discuss it. As the basis for the worth while discussion, we suggest the use of Johari Window, named after its two originators, Joe Luft (1970) and Harry Ingham
Johari window is divided into four section or panes
The first quardrant is called the "open" pane of the window because it represents the information about you that both you and your partner knows. It includes information that you have disclosed and the observations about you that your partner has shared with you. If you were preparing a Johari windows that represented your side of your relationship with another person, you would include in the open pane all the item of information about yourself that you would fell free to share with that other person.
The second quadrant is called the "secret" pane. It contain all those things that you know about yourself but that your partner does not know about you. This information may run the gamut from where you keep your pencil, or why you don't eat meat, to those secrets whose revelation threatens you. If you were preparing a Johari window that represent your side of a relationship with another person, you would include in the secretpane all the items of information that you have not shared with that other person.
When you choose to disclose the information with your partner, the information moves into the open pane of the window. If, for example, you had been engaged to be married but on the day of the wedding your fiancee had backed out, this information might be in the secret pane of your window.
But when you disclose this to your friend, it would move into the open part of your johari window with this person. through dissclosure, the secret pane of a window becomes smaller and the open pane is enlarged.
The third quadrant is called the blind pane. this is the place for information that the other person knows about you but about which you are unaware. Most people have blind spots - aspects of their behavior about which they are unaware. For example, Charley may not know that he snores when he sleeps or that he frowns when he is concentrating . Both of these behaviors would be known by someone who has slept in the same room with him or being with him when he attends class lecture. Information moves from the blind are of the window to the open area through feed back from other.
If no one has ever told Charley about these behaviors, or if he has refused to believe it when he has been told about them, this information will be in the blind part of his johari window.
when someone tells Charley about them and he accept the feedback, than the information will move into the open pane of Charley's Johari window with this person. Thus, like disclosure, feedback enlarges the open pane of the Johari Window, but in this case it is the blind pane that becomes smaller.
The fourth quadrant is called the "unknown" pane. It contain information about you that you do not know and neither does your partner. Obviously, you cannot develop a list of this information. So how do we know that it exists ? Well, periodically we "discover" it. If, for instance, you have never tried hang gliding, then neither you nor anyone else can really know weather you would chicken out or follow through, do it well or crash, love every minute of it or be paralyzed by fear.
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